Wedding Crashers

Wedding Crashers is a 2005 film about a pair of committed womanizers who sneak into weddings to take advantage of the romantic tinge in the air.

  • 1 John Beckwith
  • 2 Jeremy Grey
  • 3 Sack's Friends
  • 4 William Cleary
  • 5 Todd Cleary
  • 6 Chaz Reinhold
  • 7 Other People
  • 11 External links

John Beckwith [ edit ]

  • There he is, the big guy!
  • I don't even know what the fuck a quail is!
  • I think he's on steroids. It's like trying to cover a fucking race horse.
  • It's the first quarter of the big game and you wanna toss up a hail Mary? I'd like to be pimps from Oakland or cowboys from Arizona but it's not Halloween. Grow up, Peter Pan! Count Chocula! Look, we've been to a million weddings and you know what? We've rocked them all.
  • You better lock it up.

Jeremy Grey [ edit ]

  • Oh please! You and I both know I'm a phenomenal dancer!
  • I don't even wear a belt...beltless.
  • Rule number 76: no excuses. Play like a champion.
  • You go have fun. I'm gonna go ice my balls and spit up blood, Team Player!
  • I don't think you heard me correctly: I've got a stage-five virgin clinger!
  • I'm a little too traumatized to enjoy a scone right now.
  • I was first-team All-State. I can put the ball wherever I want to. I'll make it rain out here.
  • I'm not perfect, but who are we kidding, neither are you. And you want to know what? I dig it.
  • It feels so good when he jokes.
  • Lock it up!
  • The painting was a gift, Todd. I'm taking it with me.
  • Yeah that, or it could have been the midnight rape, or the nude gay art show that took place in my room last night.
  • Give me a break! That was my first Asian!
  • I happen to know everything there is to know about maple syrup. I love maple syrup! I love it on pancakes, I love it on pizza! I love to take maple syrup and put a little bit in my hair when I've had a rough week. What do you think holds it up, slick?
  • Proper girl in the hat just eye-fucked the shit out of me.
  • I'm a cocks man!
  • You motor-boating son of a bitch, you old sailor you!
  • I mean, I had an imaginary friend when I was a kid and his name was Shiloh. We used to play checkers with each other every day and bless his heart, Shiloh'd always let me win!
  • This is the real world, lady! You can't just go shooting people on a whim!
  • I felt like Jodie Foster in 'The Accused'
  • I hope you flip your bike over and knock out your two front teeth, you selfish son-of-a-bitch!

Sack's Friends [ edit ]

  • Crab cakes and football, that's what Maryland does!
  • Are you ready to have the noise brought on you?
  • That's what we call a sack lunch! Num-num-num-num-num!
  • Darn, sluts!

William Cleary [ edit ]

  • Well, the guy wants to run for president, he thinks Moby Dick is a venereal disease.
  • You know, she's not just another notch on your belt.
  • Now Todd, it wouldn't kill ya to play some competitive sports, once in a while, would it?
  • Todd, that's good! Tell that mean ocean!
  • Nature versus nurture, Lodge. Nature always wins.
  • [ about Todd ] Oh, he says he believes in art, but all I've seen him do is dribble his own blood on a canvas and smear it around with a stick!
  • Sailor! Good Man.

Todd Cleary [ edit ]

  • Death, you are my Bitch Lover!
  • I made you painting a... I call it 'Celebration'(shows painting). It's sexual and violent. I thought you might like it.
  • Would that make you love me?!
  • I'll be in my room painting homo things.
  • I'll pop out at the right moment!
  • Let's play tummy sticks.
  • We had a moment at the dinner table.
  • Jeremy tried to seduce me!

Chaz Reinhold [ edit ]

  • What the fuck do you want?
  • God darn you! I almost nun-chucked you. You don't even realize!
  • I'm just living the dream.
  • Hey, Ma! Can we get some meatloaf?!
  • Hey, Ma! The meatloaf! We want it now! The meatloaf!
  • What is she doing? I never know what she is doing back there.
  • Ma! The meatloaf! Fuck!
  • Come on in for the real thing.
  • It's like fishing with dynamite.
  • Dude died in a hang gliding accident. What an idiot! Ha ha. "A-a-ah! I'm hang-gliding, honey! Take a good picture! I'm dead!" What a freak!
  • (Upon finding out that Jeremy is getting married) What?! What an idiot! What a loser! Good! Good! More for me and you!
  • You're coming with!

Other People [ edit ]

  • Wife : You shut your mouth when you're talking to me!
  • Husband : Yeah, that's right, go comatose for me, baby!
  • Grandma : He was a doll! The wife, though, Eleanor, big dyke. Huge dyke. A real rug muncher. Looked like a big lesbian mule.
  • Chazz's mom : Chazz, there's someone here to see you! And pick up your fucking skateboard!
  • Husband : Hey, I got an idea, why don't you just kiss my left nut!\\\\\\

Dialogue [ edit ]

[last lines]

Taglines [ edit ]

  • On July 15, they're coming to your wedding...with or without invitations.
  • They're just a couple of guys who need a good wife.
  • Hide Your actual IQ rating.
  • Life's a Blessing, Remember to Pray.

Cast [ edit ]

  • Owen Wilson as John Beckwith
  • Vince Vaughn as Jeremy Grey
  • Christopher Walken as United States Secretary of the Treasury William Cleary
  • Rachael McAdams as Claire Cleary
  • Isla Fisher as Gloria Cleary
  • Jane Seymour as Kathleen "Kitty Kat" Cleary
  • Ellen Albertini Dow as "Grandma" Mary Cleary (final film role)
  • Keir O'Donnell as Todd Cleary
  • Bradley Cooper as Sack Lodge
  • Henry Gibson as Father O'Neil
  • Ron Canada as Randolph
  • Jenny Alden as Christina Cleary
  • Will Ferrell ( uncredited ) as Chazz Reinhold
  • Doria Baird as Vivian
  • Dwight Yoakam and Rebecca De Mornay as Mr. and Mrs. Kroger
  • Kathryn Joosten as Mrs. Reinhold
  • Richard Riehle ( uncredited ) as Funeral guest

External links [ edit ]

  • IMDb: Wedding Crashers
  • The Official Site
  • Wedding Crashers Motorboat * The Rules

motorboat you old sailor

  • American films
  • Romantic comedy films
  • Films set in Washington, D.C.
  • Films about weddings
  • Films set in Maryland

Navigation menu

  • ABBREVIATIONS
  • BIOGRAPHIES
  • CALCULATORS
  • CONVERSIONS
  • DEFINITIONS

Quotes.net

     

Wedding Crashers 2005

Jeremy: Why don't you try getting jacked off under the table in front of the whole damn family and have some real problems, jackass. What were they like anyway? They looked pretty good, are they real? Are they built for speed or for comfort? What'd you do with them? Motorboat? You play the motorboat? [makes motorboat noises] You motor-boating son of a b*tch, you old sailor, you! Where is she? She still in the house?

John: What is wrong with you?

Jeremy: What do you mean, what's wrong with--? What's wrong with you?

John: No, what's wrong with you?

Jeremy: No, what's wrong with you? You're projecting!

John: Drop it.

Jeremy: You drop it! You stop projecting on me! Why don't you go enjoy yourself while I go ice my balls and spit up blood.

John: Drop it!

Jeremy: Team player!

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Wedding Crashers (2005)

Owen wilson: john beckwith.

  • Photos (41)
  • Quotes (65)

Photos 

Owen Wilson, John G. Pavelec, and Vince Vaughn in football game scene from

Quotes 

Jeremy Grey : I didn't get a lot of sleep last night.

John Beckwith : Soft mattress?

Jeremy Grey : Yeah, it could have been the soft mattress. Or the midnight rape. Or the nude gay art show that took place in my room. One of those probably added to the lack of sleep.

John Beckwith : You know how they say we only use 10 percent of our brains? I think we only use 10 percent of our hearts.

John Beckwith : Don't waste your time on girls with hats. They tend to be very proper.

Jeremy Grey : Yeah? Well, the proper girl in the hat just eye-fucked the shit out of me.

[people in the next row turn round and stare at Jeremy] 

John Beckwith : Why don't you say it a little louder? I don't think the priest heard you.

John Beckwith : I'd like to be pimps from Oakland or cowboys from Arizona but it's not Halloween. Grow up Peter Pan, Count Chocula.

John Beckwith : Claire's mom just made me grab her hooters.

Jeremy Grey : Well snap out of it! What, a hot older women made you feel her cans? Stop crying like a little girl.

John Beckwith : I wasn't crying like a little girl.

Jeremy Grey : Why don't you try getting jacked off under the table in front of the whole damn family and have some real problems, jackass. Hey, what were they like anyway? They looked pretty good, are they real? Are they built for speed or comfort? What'd you do with them? Motorboat? You play the motorboat?

[makes sputtering motorboat noise] 

Jeremy Grey : You motorboatin son of a bitch! You old sailor you! Where is she? She still in the house?

John Beckwith : What's wrong with you?

Jeremy Grey : What do you mean "what's wrong with me?" What's wrong with you?

John Beckwith : No, what's wrong with you?

Jeremy Grey : No, what's wrong with you? You're projecting!

John Beckwith : Drop it.

Jeremy Grey : You drop it! You stop projecting on me! Why don't you go enjoy yourself while I go ice my balls and spit up blood.

John Beckwith : Drop it!

[starts walking away] 

Jeremy Grey : Team player!

John Beckwith : Claire! Will you wait just a second? All I wanted is was a second alone with you so I could explain things. But I've never gotten that chance. Maybe I don't deserve it, so here goes. For longer than I care to remember, my business has been crashing weddings. I crashed weddings to meet girls. Business was good. I met a *lot* of girls. It was childish and it was juvenile.

Claire Cleary : And pathetic.

John Beckwith : Yeah. That's probably the best word to describe it. But you know what? It also led me to you, so it's hard for me to completely regret it. And that person that you met back at your folks' place? That was really me. Maybe not my name, I'm John Beckwith by the way. Or my job. But the feelings we felt; the jokes, the stupid laughs, that was all me. I've changed. I've realized something. I crashed a funeral today.

Jeremy Grey : [mutters]  Oh Jesus.

John Beckwith : It wasn't my idea, I was basically dragged to it.

[to Jeremy] 

John Beckwith : I went with Chazz who you forgot to tell me is totally insane. He also might be a genius because it actually does work, he's cleaning up.

Claire Cleary : John!

John Beckwith : I'm sorry, I'm sorry. That's neither here nor there. Anyway, I saw this widow and she's a wreck. She has just lost the person she loved the most in this world and I realized we're all going to lose the people we love. That's the way it is, but not me. Not right now. Because the person *I* love the most is standing right here and I'm not ready to lose you yet. Claire, I'm not standing here asking you to marry me, I'm just asking you not to marry *him* and maybe take a walk, take a chance.

[Kathleen Cleary walks into John's bedroom, unbuttons her blouse and shows John her boobs] 

Kathleen Cleary : I just had my tits done. You like 'em?

John Beckwith : [shocked]  Those... seem like lovely tits.

Kathleen Cleary : William doesn't give a shit about my tits.

John Beckwith : Well, darn him. But Mrs. Cleary, this is pretty sudden...

Kathleen Cleary : Oh, you been playing "Cat and Mouse" with me ever since you came here.

John Beckwith : Mrs. Cleary, I don't...

Kathleen Cleary : Call me Kat.

John Beckwith : Okay, Kat.

Kathleen Cleary : Call me "Kitty Kat".

[growls] 

John Beckwith : Okay, Kitty Kat. This feels "borderline" inappropriate.

[Kathleen walks closer to John] 

Kathleen Cleary : Feel them.

John Beckwith : What?

Kathleen Cleary : I said feel them!

John Beckwith : Mrs. Cleary...

Kathleen Cleary : Kitty Kat.

John Beckwith : I'm sorry, Kitty Kat, are you out of your fucking mind?

Kathleen Cleary : I'm not letting you out of this room until you feel them.

[Completely hesitant and nervous, John feels her boobs; Kathleen moans softly] 

John Beckwith : Wow, they feel really nice. Real orb-like. It's amazing what they can do...

[Kathleen shudders and puts her blouse back on] 

Kathleen Cleary : Pervert!

[John has just referred to an aunt, only to be told by a guest that she is dead] 

Jeremy Grey : How many times you gonna do this shit? Rule #32: You don't commit to a relative unless you're absolutely positive they have a pulse.

John Beckwith : Rule #16: Give me an up-to-date family tree. That was your mistake. You made me look like an idiot.

Jeremy Grey : Rule #76: No excuses. Play like a champion!

Chazz Reinhold : So how's my protégé?

John Beckwith : Jeremy, believe it or not, is getting married!

Chazz Reinhold : What? What an idiot! What a loser! Good! Good! More for you and me.

John Beckwith : What are you doing? It's a game of touch football, every time I look over you're on your ass again.

John Beckwith : Sorry I'm late.

Jeremy Grey : No problem.

John Beckwith : I'm sorry I called you white trash.

Jeremy Grey : Apology accepted.

John Beckwith : And I'm sorry I called you hillbilly. I don't even know what that means.

Jeremy Grey : John, it's OK. Do you mind if I get married now?

John Beckwith : That brings us to the question of frequent flyer miles.

Mrs. Kroeger : I want them.

John Beckwith : Know what we're gonna do? We're gonna split them right down the middle. How would that be, Mr Kroeger?

Mr. Kroeger : It would be not good at all. I earned those miles.

Mrs. Kroeger : Yeah, you earned them flying to Denver to meet your whore.

Mr. Kroeger : She's not afraid to express herself sexually if that's what you mean.

Mrs. Kroeger : She's a stripper, for God's sake.

Mr. Kroeger : She is not.

Mrs. Kroeger : Her name is Chastity. She is white trash, same as you. Hillbilly!

John Beckwith : You better lock it up.

Jeremy Grey : No, you lock it up!

John Beckwith : You lock it up!

Jeremy Grey : You lock it up!

Jeremy Grey : Lock it up!

Jeremy Grey : Have you even shot one of these things before?

John Beckwith : The whole 17 years we've known each other I've been sneaking off to go on little hunting trips around the world. No, I don't even know what the fuck a quail is!

Jeremy Grey : I feel totally ridiculous. Like why do I have to be in camouflage? So the big bad quail doesn't see me?

John Beckwith : I know. Why can't we hunt something cool like a hawk or an eagle, something with some talons?

Jeremy Grey : That'd be awesome. We could get something like big game. Even like a gorilla or a rhinoceros or a fucking human being! That'll get you jacked up.

John Beckwith : That's a little heavy.

Jeremy Grey : I mean like, hunt a human being right now, "Most Dangerous Game". Like a worthy adversary. Not a human being that's armed, but a clever, a clever, human being who knows the jungle. Or the woods.

Sack Lodge : Claire, you get your fucking ass on that altar right now!

John Beckwith : Wow, we're getting a great preview of what marriage is gonna be like with Ike Turner over here.

John Beckwith : [to a group of children at a wedding]  Love doesn't exist, that's what I'm trying to tell you guys. And I'm not picking on love, 'cause I don't think friendship exists either.

Hindu Woman : [while dancing at a wedding reception]  French Foreign Legion?

John Beckwith : Yeah, we lost a lot of good men out there.

[cut to another reception] 

Bridesmaid : Mount Everest?

Jeremy Grey : I don't like to talk about it because we lost so many good men out there.

John Beckwith : We lost so many good men out there.

Bridesmaid : Playing with the Yankees?

John Beckwith : Yes, with the Yankees you loose good men to trades and unruly fans. Look I don't want to talk about it. I'm sorry.

John Beckwith : Secretary Cleary, I'm John Ryan.

Secretary Cleary : Hi, John.

John Beckwith : I just wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed your position paper on economic expansion in Micronesia.

Secretary Cleary : You've read my position paper?

John Beckwith : I read it while I was sailing my boat to Bermuda.

Secretary Cleary : A sailor? Good man! Take a seat. You didn't happen to catch my speech on the Paraguayan debt and money supply issue did you?

John Beckwith : Are you kidding me? I thought it was great! Your argument for the inverse ratio of capitalization to debt was genius. Now if we could just get Congress not to be so short-sighted.

Secretary Cleary : Yes! Well put. Short-sighted. John, what d'you say we head onto the deck and light up a couple of cigars?

John Beckwith : Stogies?

Secretary Cleary : Yeah.

John Beckwith : Why not?

Sack Lodge : What's this, uh, company called?

Jeremy Grey : [Screaming because Gloria is secretly masturbating him to the end; climaxing]  HOLY SHI...

John Beckwith : [Thinking fast]  Shirts and Pants! Holy Shirts and Pants. It's a little corny and obvious, but what do you get out of being subtle, right?

Claire Cleary : So is it just about the money?

John Beckwith : No no, it's about, uh, investing in companies that are ethically and morally defensible.

Sack Lodge : Well, like what? Give me an example.

John Beckwith : Like what? Well, there's the company that we have where we're taking the, the fur or the wool from sheep and we turn it into thread for homeless people to sew. And then they make it into cloth, which they in turn sew, then um... make little shirts and pants for other homeless people to sell. It's a pretty good deal.

Jeremy Grey : [fumbling his words because Gloria is giving him a hand job under the dinner table]  People - People helping people.

Claire Cleary : That's - that's very admirable.

John Beckwith : Thank you. Although, don't make me out to be a saint just yet. We do turn a small profit. After all, someone has to pay for the, uh,

[motions to Jeremy] 

John Beckwith : Lap dancers for the big guy here.

Jeremy Grey : [laughing pleasurably]  Oh, ha ha ha, he's joking around. It feels so good when he jokes.

Vivian : Would you say you're completely full of shit or just 50%?

John Beckwith : I hope just 50 but who knows.

Secretary Cleary : Once Sack and Claire tie the knot, two of the great American families, the Clearys and the Lodges, will finally unite.

John Beckwith : And then of course you can challenge the Klingons for interstellar domination.

[stunned silence, then Claire laughs] 

Claire Cleary : What is true love?

John Beckwith : True love is your soul's recognition of its counterpoint in another.

Claire Cleary : It's a little cheesy but I like it.

John Beckwith : I read it on a bumper sticker!

[John walks toward Claire, who is on the swing] 

John Beckwith : You can't marry this guy.

Claire Cleary : Why?

John Beckwith : Because I've fallen for you.

Jeremy Grey : I'm getting married.

John Beckwith : Get out.

[Points at the door] 

Jeremy Grey : But you just said you were happy...

John Beckwith : I'm hanging by a thread. I'm reading don't-kill-myself books.

Jeremy Grey : You said the book wasn't yours.

John Beckwith : Don't worry about the book. It's not mine. But I glanced at it.

John Beckwith : Are you going to give a toast?

Claire Cleary : Yes.

John Beckwith : Nervous?

Claire Cleary : A little bit.

John Beckwith : What are you going to say?

[Claire pulls a piece of paper from inside her dress] 

John Beckwith : You keep it in your cleavage.

Claire Cleary : Nowhere else to put it. Normally I'm not very good at these things, but I think this one's pretty good.

[John reads from Claire's notes] 

John Beckwith : "I never thought my sister would find someone who cared about what other people thought as much as she did - until I met Craig?"!

Claire Cleary : Yes, that's funny. It's funny because it's true. People like funny.

John Beckwith : I know, but the whole funny-because-it's-true bit only works if the truth is a *small* thing like "everyone knows Jennifer likes to shop, ha ha ha". I think you're better off going with something from the heart. Honestly.

Claire Cleary : I think people are going to like this.

John Beckwith : I think you're going to hear crickets.

Claire Cleary : I think you're wrong.

John Beckwith : Sounds of silence. Go walk the plank.

Claire Cleary : Uh uh. I'm sticking to it.

John Beckwith : Ok, meet me at the back of the room. I'll be the guy waiting to say I told you so.

John Beckwith : How long have you and the Secretary been married?

Kathleen Cleary : 30 years next April.

John Beckwith : That's beautiful.

Kathleen Cleary : Yeah. And we were faithful for two of them.

John Beckwith : I have a better idea. Throw an interception to Claire, get her feeling good about herself. You think you can do that?

Jeremy Grey : John, I was first team All-State. I can put the ball anywhere I want to. I'll make it rain out here.

Jeremy Grey : I'm sure you'd love to be free, maybe go out and meet some Latin guy that can dance, grind up on you, make you feel dangerous but also safe. And how about you? Don't you want to get inside Chastity without having to wonder if everyone's gonna find out?

John Beckwith : God, wouldn't that be sweet?

Jeremy Grey : Wouldn't that be nice? And have some Latin guy sweating all over you, talking to you in languages you don't understand, needing you, wanting you, taking you?

John Beckwith : All we're trying to say is, put your swords away for a second. Let's finish this and let's move on.

Jeremy Grey : Get out there and get some strange ass.

Jeremy Grey : Okay, what's our back story?

John Beckwith : We're brothers from New Hampshire. We're venture capitalists.

Jeremy Grey : I'm sick of that. Let's be from Vermont. And let's have an emerging maple syrup conglomerate.

John Beckwith : Wait, that's stupid. We don't know anything about maple syrup.

Jeremy Grey : I happen to know everything there is to know about maple syrup! I love maple syrup. I love maple syrup on pancakes. I love it on pizza. And I take maple syrup and put a little bit in my hair when I've had a rough week. What do you think holds it up, slick?

[after playing football] 

Kathleen Cleary : Boy, it's hot out here.

John Beckwith : Yeah.

Kathleen Cleary : You should've played in your underwear.

Jeremy Grey : That's interesting John, that glass looks half full to me.

John Beckwith : Wow, now that you mention it, it *is* half full.

Jeremy Grey : Listen, I'm getting married.

[points at the door] 

Jeremy Grey : What? You just sat there and said you were happy for me, that I...

Jeremy Grey : You said that the book wasn't yours.

John Beckwith : Don't worry about the book. It isn't mine. But I glanced at it.

Jeremy Grey : John, you've been my friend for 16 years. I'm getting married. I need you there to be my best man.

John Beckwith : Kindly leave!

Jeremy Grey : I'm try...

John Beckwith : [cuts him off; whispers]  Kindly leave.

John Beckwith : I think we've got a crier.

Jeremy Grey : No shot.

John Beckwith : 20 bucks.

Jeremy Grey : Make it 40.

[Bride at alter bursts into tears] 

Jeremy Grey : [watching Gloria coming up the aisle]  Hello, Red! Dibs.

John Beckwith : [watching Claire coming up the aisle]  She's all yours. I ain't gonna fight you.

Father O'Neil : And now for our next reading I'd like to ask the bride's sister Gloria up to the lectern.

John Beckwith : 20 bucks, First Corinthians.

Jeremy Grey : Double or nothing, Colossians 3:12.

Gloria Cleary : And now a reading from Paul's first letter to the Corinthians.

Woman at Jewish Reception : I saw you at the wedding.

John Beckwith : Yeah?

Woman at Jewish Reception : You were crying.

John Beckwith : Oh shit! You weren't supposed to see that. Now you probably think I'm a big pussy.

Woman at Jewish Reception : No, you were so sweet.

John Beckwith : Hey, listen. What angle are you going to play here?

Jeremy Grey : I am going to go with the balloon animal display. For the kids. And then when she comes close to check it out, guess who is the broken man, haunted past? How about you?

John Beckwith : I am going to go dance with the little flower girl. Oh, and I might be a charter member of Oprah's book club.

Jeremy Grey : It's all deadly.

Claire Cleary : Actually Todd is an amazing painter. He's going to the Rhode Island School of Design.

John Beckwith : Wow, that's a great school. Congratulations, Todd. That's really impressive. RIS-D!

Todd Cleary : Yeah, Dad - Dad always thought I'd be a political liability...

[getting angry] 

Todd Cleary : ...in case he ever ran for President.

Secretary Cleary : Now, now Todd. Actually, truth be told, polling shows that a majority of the American people would ultimately empathize with our situation.

Todd Cleary : [sharply, raising his voice]  What IS our situation, Dad?

Grandma Mary Cleary : You're a homo.

John Beckwith : [about Chazz]  He lived with his mom till he was forty! She tried to poison his oatmeal!

Jeremy Grey : Erroneous! Erroneous! Erroneous on both counts!

John Beckwith : I crashed a funeral today.

John Beckwith : Whoa, hold it, Sack!

[Sack punches John] 

Trap : OK, Sackmaster, one more. We should get back to the bar.

Sack Lodge : You get near my fiancée again, I kill you.

John Beckwith : Let me say one thing.

Sack Lodge : [to Trap]  Did you check out the rack on that bartender?

Trap : Hey, you're the Sack. She'll come to you.

Sack Lodge : Oh my God, yes, she will, you're right!

Jeremy Grey : John? I need to see you right away. It's important.

John Beckwith : [Walking into Jeremy's office]  What's going on?

Jeremy Grey : [sighs]  We got three big weeks ahead of us. It's wedding season, kid!

John Beckwith : You sandbaggin' son of a bitch!

Jeremy Grey : I've got us down for 17 of them already.

John Beckwith : Okay, now how many of them have cash bars?

Jeremy Grey : Great question. I like where your head's at and two of them actually are, but I got us covered: Purple hearts. We won't have to pay for a drink all night.

John Beckwith : Oh, yeah. Perfect.

Jeremy Grey : We are gonna have tons and tons of opportunities to meet gorgeous ladies that get so aroused by the thought of marriage that they'll throw their inhibitions to the wind.

John Beckwith : And who's gonna be there to catch them?

Jeremy Grey : Grab that net and catch that beautiful butterfly, pal! What do you like better, Christmas or Wedding Season?

[Jeremy raises his hand] 

John Beckwith : Mr. Grey?

Jeremy Grey : Yes. The answer would be, um, Wedding Season?

[shimmy-shakes] 

John Beckwith : Bingo! I'm gonna get my suit. Now who are we this time?

Claire Cleary : Your brother. He's down again.

John Beckwith : What is his deal?

Claire Cleary : Are you OK?

John Beckwith : Yeah, I'm just swinging the jib for your dad, starboard.

Claire Cleary : But starboard's *this* way.

John Beckwith : That's right. What am I thinking? I'm used to sailing Down Under with the Kiwis so everything's backwards. Even the toilets, when you flush them, the water spins the opposite way. Really freaks you out the first time you see it.

John Beckwith : What are you going to do for an encore? Walk on water?

[the men are hunting quails in the forest; Secretary Cleary blows his quail whistle] 

Sack Lodge : There's something not right about these guys.

Flip : What do you mean?

Sack Lodge : I mean, it's time to send them home.

Flip : Sack, don't do anything crazy.

Sack Lodge : Just relax. I'm just gonna scare them a little bit.

Flip : All right.

[Sack cocks his rifle and aims it at Jeremy] 

Sack Lodge : [Yells]  TO THE RIGHT!

[Everyone aims and shoots; John and Jeremy screams; John falls to the ground, pulls the trigger, and then shoots Jeremy] 

Jeremy Grey : [Screaming]  Aaaahhh! They got me!

Sack Lodge : [laughs]  Oh, shit!

Jeremy Grey : THEY GOT ME!

John Beckwith : Oh, shit.

Jeremy Grey : Oh, that's terrific! Why don't you just feed me to the lions? Step on my head when I am drowning.

Jeremy Grey : What do you mean "what"? What a great friend, John. This is completely against the rules. You have a wedding and a reception to seal the deal. Period. There's no overtime.

John Beckwith : No overtime. Yeah, well what about the Chang wedding three years ago. 2am, you drag me fifty miles to watch you and some chick play Mah-Jongg with her grandmother? In a retirement home.

Jeremy Grey : Completely different situation. She was a very, very family-oriented girl. And very into her grandmother.

Jeremy Grey : [Yells aloud]  *That was my first Asian!*

[the entire room goes silent] 

John Beckwith : Rule No.5: "You're an idiot"

John Beckwith : Get up, you're making us look like pussies.

Jeremy Grey : If I had any air in my lungs I'd scream at you.

Jeremy Grey : [in response to the outfit he's wearing]  I'm not even gunna say it, but you know I'm upset.

John Beckwith : Yes. But I think you look good.

Jeremy Grey : You know I don't look good.

[after Sack outruns John and scores a touchdown] 

Jeremy Grey : What happened?

John Beckwith : I think he's on steroids. It's like trying to cover a fucking race horse.

Jeremy Grey : [quarterbacking a touch football game]  John! Red seven!

John Beckwith : I don't know what red seven means.

Jeremy Grey : Hot route!

John Beckwith : I don't... What is hot route?

Jeremy Grey : Will you just go stand on the other side please?

John Beckwith : Rule #1: Never Leave a Fellow Crasher Behind.

John Beckwith : [introducing himself at a wedding reception]  Sanjay Collins.

Jeremy Grey : Chuck Vindaloo. Excited to be here.

John Beckwith : Seamus O'Toole.

Jeremy Grey : Bobby O'Shea.

John Beckwith : I'm ready to get drunk!

John Beckwith : [after Jeremy gets violently tackled to the ground]  You were awesome... she's buying it, now quit messing around and get up.

Jeremy Grey : [after getting the wind knocked out of him, whispering]  I'm not messing around, I can't breathe.

John Beckwith : Oh, come on, now you're just milking it.

Jeremy Grey : [looks up in disgust, still whispering]  I hate you.

John Beckwith : Oh, *you're* gonna cover me.

Claire Cleary : Like white on rice.

John Beckwith : All right I like my odds here. Let me give you a little warning, I'm going downtown. Look for me in the endzone after this play, I'll be the guy holding the ball.

John Beckwith : And do ya maybe feel the same way?

Claire Cleary : Maybe.

John Beckwith : [relieved]  Maybe. That's all I needed to know.

Claire Cleary : [exhales in frustration]  But this is crazy, because I don't know any...

John Beckwith : Why?

Claire Cleary : I don't know anything about you!

John Beckwith : What do you mean?

Claire Cleary : You do investments in New Hampshire, and you have a... crazy brother...

John Beckwith : Well, actually, I need to talk to you about that. I'm not a big deal, but maybe youn wanna sit back on the swing.

Sack Lodge : Why don't you tell her, John?

John Beckwith : I don't know what goin' on.

Sack Lodge : [whispers]  You don't know?

John Beckwith : I'm playing Catch-up too.

[Sack punches John in the chest] 

Claire Cleary : [yells]  Sack! What are you doing?

Sack Lodge : You remembering yet? You remember yet?

Claire Cleary : [to John]  Are you okay? Sack!

Sack Lodge : They're not who they say they are, Claire. Those aren't even their real names.

Claire Cleary : What?

Sack Lodge : No, everything they told you was a lie.

Claire Cleary : [confused]  I-I don't understand what your saying.

Sack Lodge : Claire, they crash weddings. They crash weddings so that they can sleep with girls. Everything that they told us has been a complete fabrication!

Claire Cleary : You're joking.

Sack Lodge : All of it was a - Don't you fuckin' get up!

Claire Cleary : Sack, will you just stop?

Sack Lodge : [backs away]  Okay. Okay.

[Claire demands the truth] 

Claire Cleary : Is that true?

John Beckwith : [hesitates]  No - Well, no, it's... not entirely.

Claire Cleary : No. It's a "Yes" or "No" question.

John Beckwith : I know, but it's complicated.

Claire Cleary : [turns angry]  Yes or No?

[the family looks on John and Jeremy in disbelief] 

Claire Cleary : Yes or No?

John Beckwith : Yes...

[the family is shocked and upset; Claire is at a loss for words] 

John Beckwith : with shades of grey.

Jeremy Grey : [to Gloria]  I'm not perfect. But who are we kidding? Neither are you. And you wanna know what? I dig it!

Todd Cleary : Mom make you feel her tits?

John Beckwith : Did you say something, Todd?

John Beckwith : Todd, where are you going with this?

Todd Cleary : Just don't say anything to my dad, though. Some friend of my sister's said something to my dad a couple of years ago, he now lives in a shack in Guam... not by choice.

John Beckwith : Stop kidding with me Todd. You almost had me. Come on!

John Beckwith : I don't mean to pry.

Claire Cleary : Yes, you do.

[seeing Gloria throwing a tantrum in front of her father] 

Jeremy Grey : Looks like a little kid at Toys-R-Us.

[pause] 

Jeremy Grey : I can't be around her.

John Beckwith : Get off your high horse and stop judging people.

[a gunshot is heard from inside the Cleary mansion; Grandma Cleary is chasing Jeremy outside] 

Jeremy Grey : RUN! JOHNNY! She's tryin' to kill me!

[shouting continues] 

Claire Cleary : Grandma!

John Beckwith : Whoa! Whoa!

Jeremy Grey : Get the gun from her!

Secretary Cleary : Put the gun down! Mother, stop!

Jeremy Grey : This is the real world, lady! You can't just go shooting people on a whim!

John Beckwith : [shocked]  What did you do?

Jeremy Grey : [to Father O'Neil]  I told you that in confidence. That was a confession!

Claire Cleary : What are you talking about?

Jeremy Grey : I'm sorry. I'm not sorry. Okay? I'm not gonna apologize, I'm a cocksman!

[gets glares from wedding guests] 

John Beckwith : [to wedding guests]  Tourette's.

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs

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Recently Viewed

Wedding Crashers

  • You Motorboating Son of a Bitch

About Wedding Crashers

  • Released in 2005
  • Directed by David Dobkin
  • Produced by New Line Cinema

Wedding Crashers Scenes

  • You Shut Your Mouth
  • Just the Tip
  • Wedding Montage
  • Hell of a Season
  • I'm a Cocksman
  • Death You Are My Bitch Lover
  • Jeremy Seduces Gloria
  • Claire's Toast
  • Stage 5 Virgin Clinger
  • That Was My First Asian
  • No More Bodily Fluids
  • Crab Cakes and Football
  • I'd Find You
  • I Don't Even Wear a Belt
  • Sea Otter Story
  • Holy Shirts and Pants
  • Those are Lovely Tits
  • Mom Make You Feel Her Tits?
  • Grandma's Kind of Mean
  • You Do the Math
  • Todd and Jeremy in Bed
  • Midnight Rape or the Gay Art Show
  • Starboard's This Way
  • Let's Go Kill Some Birds
  • Jeremy Gets Shot
  • I Hope You Flip Your Bike
  • Randolph and Sack
  • The Beach Scene
  • Engagement Announcement
  • I Wasn't A Virgin
  • Jeremy and the Priest
  • John Loves Claire
  • Good News Travels Fast
  • That Painting Was a Gift
  • John's Plan
  • Sack Fights John
  • Rule Number 5 - You're an Idiot
  • Jeremy and Gloria Get Engaged
  • Claire Bear
  • Light Reading
  • Ma, Meatloaf
  • Funeral Scene
  • Preview of Marriage to Ike Turner
  • Final Scene

Characters in This Scene

motorboat you old sailor

Jeremy Grey

motorboat you old sailor

John Beckwith

motorboat you old sailor

Grandma Mary Cleary

motorboat you old sailor

motorboat you old sailor

Wedding Crashers quotes

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25 of the Best Lines in Movie History

‘60 percent of the time, it works every time’

5 Movie Quotes That Must Be Stopped

Zach Oberman

Movie quotes are occasionally useful. Last week, when Paris Hilton claimed that she didn't "deserve" her jail sentence, there's nothing we wanted more than to stand over her like Clint Eastwood in Unforgiven and whisper, "Deserve's got nothing to do with it, mister." These five phrases from recent comedies, on the other hand, have all become cultural shorthand for, "I'm smart enough to remember what that one guy said that one time, but just barely bright enough to breathe without a machine."

5. "C'mon, Focker!" (Or any sentence that ends in "...Focker!")

Common Usage: Any time when you want to say "fuck" but are afraid of being naughty. Basically, first through third grades. After that, if you can't get past the thrill of almost saying a curse word, chances are you're never going to need to know what the verb form of the word "fuck" means anyways.

4. "Shake and bake!"

Common Usage: Usually delivered with a fist bump, "shake and bake" is like a Forrest Gump quote mixed with a high five. It shows your friends that you think of yourself as a semi-retarded NASCAR driver, and that you hold them in the same high regard. Sprinkling a "shake and bake" in while dishing out the celebratory fist bumps lets everyone in the room know that your last big win was completing the Tri-Force (in "The Legend of Zelda," but you knew that).

3. "Are they built for speed or comfort? What'd you do with them? Motorboat? You play the motorboat? You motorboatin' son of a bitch. You old sailor, you."

Common Usage: Sure, you could recite this quote when a friend of yours mentions a recent hookup. He'll probably reply, "Oh, I get it, that's from that movie Wedding Crashers ." And you will in turn say, "Yup!" And then the two of you will sit around in a haze of awkward, stultifying stupidity for the rest of the night.

A better way to use it is any time your dad starts a sentence with "Me and your mom"¦" That'll be sure to liven up Thanksgiving dinner. Especially if your mom has great tits.

2. "You know how I know you're gay?"

Of course, anyone who uses this quote will be quick to remind you that they don't have anything against gay people. They're not talking about GAY, gay. Just"¦y'know"¦ gay . C'mon, you know what they mean. Quit being so gay.

Common Usage: Anytime someone uses this line, things usually devolve into what amounts to a stupider, whiter version of the MTV show Yo Mamma. Read that last sentence again, and then try to resist the urge to punch a total stranger in the face. The one potential upside is the possibility that some jackass will at some point in the future, say this to someone who actually is gay. Sure, he may feel witty in front of his boys, but he's probably not going to have anything to say that will top the response of, "Because I just had sex with you in a Porta-John?"

1. "Eees NIIIIIICE," or "My Seeestehr"¦" or "Een My Coun-tehr-ee"

Proper Usage: Borat quotes are meant to be delivered in an Eastern Bloc accent hackish enough to make Yakov Smirnoff ululate. Many people believe that the proper response to a Borat quote is another Borat quote, but this is actually incorrect. Modern etiquette and social responsibility demand that the quoter receive a swift testicle drubbing, lest he reproduce.

Read more of Zach's stuff over at his blog UnderpantsOnTheOutside.com .

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‘Anchorman’ contains several laughs from Ferrell and McKay’s first screenplay

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Emma Stone Says She ‘Butchered’ the Never-Aired ‘SNL’ Sketch She Really Wanted to Do

She might have won a third Oscar for this one

motorboat you old sailor

Yachting Monthly

  • Digital edition

Yachting Monthly cover

Why motor sailing is good seamanship

Pete Goss

  • July 12, 2020

Pete Goss looks at the times it can pay to switch on the engine, making life easier and allowing for better sailing

motorboat you old sailor

While the purist may want to avoid using the engine, knowing when to fire it up can make all the difference to a successful cruise

Fortunately, even for the racers out there competing in the Vendée Globe, engines are now mandatory, so that everyone shares the benefits without compromising competition.

In my younger days a similarly narrow focus had me marvelling as French cruisers sculled in and out of marinas. I was subsequently disappointed to learn that they weren’t purists at all; they were driven, instead, by tax. An unintended consequence was that it elevated French seamanship to another level.

Objectively there are far broader benefits to having an engine than the interests of speed, cost and drag to sailing. I would always have one but why do we often feel a sense of guilty failure when we turn it on, or admit to using it in the bar?

Perhaps it is a throwback to when smoke-billowing steam ships swept the purity, romance and majesty of clippers from our oceans. Lingering shame would have been given short shrift during Raphael Dinelli’s rescue in the Southern Ocean if I had been able to magic an engine on board.

Fortunately, my boat-handling skills, polished by having to sail in and out of marinas with fee-paying guests, saved the day.

motorboat you old sailor

Combining sail and engine power can stabilise the boat, punch through steep chop or make a crucial tidal gate

Manoeuvring under sail

Perhaps we should review our relationship and not allow an engine to become a cuckoo that elbows boat handling under sail from the nest. Switching on the engine needn’t preclude the pleasure found in good boat handling under sail – it is an essential skill that can be honed with the engine in neutral.

To an extent, running the engine can encourage us to take on manoeuvres that we might not otherwise, laying ready to reverse us out of mistakes and grasping a priceless lesson without the butcher’s bill of a collision to pay for it.

There is nothing more satisfying than nailing it under sail and as with all things in life, practice makes perfect. In fact, there is one thing more satisfying and that is to offer it to the crew and watch them grow in stature as their skills develop.

Skills that might one day save your life should you fall over the side. Again, this is made all the better as a learning experience with the engine on, reducing stress for all concerned.

  • 1. Introduction
  • 2. Motor sailing for safety

A-Z of motor boats: your ultimate guide

  • A-Z of motor boats: your ultimate guide

Motor boats don't often take centre stage in our magazine, but we're about to change that. This in-depth feature explores the different kinds of motorboats, their manufacturers, how they differ from sailboats, and weighs their pros and cons. We'll help you figure out if a motorboat is the right fit for you, when to best venture out on one, and we'll delve into the requirements and conditions for a skipper's licence. In essence, we're bringing you the complete motorboat rundown. All hail the engine!

Differences to a sailboat

The age-old debate of powerboat versus sailboat is a classic theme in many a nautical conversation. We're not here to pick a side between those who favour sails and those who prefer motors. Instead, our aim is to present you with a balanced view, packing all the necessary facts, insights, and knowledge into one comprehensive discussion.

Draft and bridges

A motorboat's draft is significantly shallower, thanks to the absence of a keel. Furthermore, the lack of a mast means there's no need to worry about the boat's height when it comes to passing under bridges. So from a depth and overhead clearance perspective, you're in safe waters with a motorboat.

YACHTING.COM TIP: If you've never sailed under the renowned Pasman-Ugljan bridge, which has spelled disaster for numerous sailing boats, a motorboat provides the perfect chance!

Space and comfort

Broadly speaking, aside from mega yachts or specialist vessels, motorboats provide more space both below and on deck compared to similarly sized sailboats. They also typically feature multiple deck levels. So you can bask in the sunshine on one deck, and find shelter in the shade on another. Furthermore, on a motorboat, you don't have to fret about a precarious jib or the risk of tripping over winches or ropes. The deck tends to be more open and free from sailing gear, allowing for easier movement and relaxation.

If you have crew members who do not tolerate the heeling of a sailboat well, this concern is completely eliminated with motor boats. Unless you're faced with sizeable waves, the boat is likely to maintain stability and you won't need to worry about any significant tilting. This makes a motorboat a more comfortable choice for those sensitive to the motion of the sea.

heel of a sailing ship

You wouldn't find such a load on a motorboat

A leisure sailboat simply can't match the speed of a powerboat. While most sailboats average around 7 knots, motorboats can easily reach 15 to 20 knots. If you enjoy the thrill of speed and the feeling of wind in your hair, a powerboat is the perfect choice for you.

Consumption and costs

On the flip side, with the increased speed comes higher fuel costs. While on a sailboat, you might only need to refuel at the end of your trip or 2-3 times a week at most, resulting in a manageable fuel bill. However, if you're sailing for extended periods each day on a motorboat, you'll find yourself refuelling frequently, at a higher cost, and spending a significant amount of time waiting to fill up the diesel tank.

Level of effort and work

Starting a motorboat is straightforward; turn it on and off you go, cruising wherever you fancy. There's no need to fuss over ropes, the jib, sails, lazy bags, lazy jacks, or the whereabouts of the crank. Unlike on a sailboat where there's always something to keep you occupied, a motorboat offers pure relaxation and peace of mind. If you're seeking a laid-back cruising experience, a powerboat is the way to go.

Sailing direction

As long as there are no big waves and the Bora is not blowing against you, you can sail your motorboat comfortably pretty much anywhere you want. This isn't the case with sailboats, where you might have to cruise or alter your destination if the wind is blowing directly against you. While sailboat enthusiasts often say, "the journey is the destination," powerboat users are more about reaching their destination promptly and without fuss.

A sailing ship and a motor boat at sea off the Swedish coast sailing against each other

What is the difference between a motor boat and a sailboat?

Despite their differences, powerboats and sailboats do share some commonalities, with maintenance being the prime one. Regardless of the type of boat you own, upkeep is crucial. This includes taking care of the sails or engine and ensuring regular servicing. Moreover, marina fees apply uniformly to both. The harbour masters charge based on the length of the boat, irrespective of whether it's a sailboat or a powerboat. The only exception might be a catamaran, which typically incurs a higher fee due to its dual-hulled design, making it wider and potentially occupying the space of two conventional berths.

Disadvantages of motor boats

While motor boats offer numerous advantages, it's important to consider their potential drawbacks as well. Let's take off the rose-tinted glasses and delve into some of the downsides associated with powerboats.

Fuel dependency and non-environmental operation

Unlike a sailboat that can harness the wind as a natural and free power source, a motorboat is completely reliant on diesel fuel. Running out of fuel in the middle of your journey can leave you stranded. Furthermore, this dependence on fossil fuels also means that operating a motorboat has a greater environmental impact compared to sailing.

YACHTING.COM TIP: Speaking of ecology, check out our guide — Green sailing: 11 tips for eco-friendly yachting . 

Less stability in wind

Motorboats lack a significant keel, resulting in reduced stability when faced with waves and strong winds. Consequently, it is advisable to opt for motorboat rentals during the summer season, when occurrences of powerful winds and waves are comparatively infrequent.

Calm and the smell of the sea

The sound of the engine never leaves you during your voyage which can get on people's nerves. Likewise, the typical smell of burning diesel can start to bother you after a while.

Who is a motor boat best suited for?

A motor boat is well-suited for individuals seeking relaxation, tranquillity, and minimal effort. With the simple act of starting the engine, you can swiftly set sail without any additional concerns. Plus, a motor boat is highly recommended for those who desire to explore a wide range of places, including beaches and other scenic locations. It is particularly advantageous for covering long distances between islands and the mainland within the typical timeframe of a one or two-week vacation. Motor yachts are also a favourable choice for yachters who enjoy fishing, as they provide a comfortable and convenient means of transportation for navigating to different areas and indulging in fishing activities.

YACHTING.COM TIP: Find out what else you can do while sailing in our article — Top 12 fun activities to do on a sailing holiday .

fisherman

Fishing is an great addition to a boating holiday.

For nature lovers seeking harmony and a closer connection to the natural environment, a sailboat is more preferable than a motorboat. Sailboats provide a serene atmosphere and allow for a deeper appreciation of nature. Additionally, if the aim is to foster teamwork and engage in shared experiences, a sailboat offers more opportunities as it involves handling ropes and sails.  But if you want to relax with a bunch of friends, there's nothing better than a powerboat.

Motor boat season

Unlike sailing boats that typically operate in Europe from April to November, motor boats have a more limited season. The majority of motor cruising occurs between June and September, with peak activity in June and July. Other times of the year, motor yachts are less commonly seen at sea. This is because before and after this season, conditions tend to be windier and the sea becomes cooler, which is more appealing to racers on sailing yachts rather than those seeking a tranquillity on a motorboat, particularly in destinations like Croatia.

YACHTING.COM TIP: What winds and weather will you encounter in the Mediterranean over summer? Check out our guide — The 7 most common winds you'll find in the Mediterranean . 

Motor boat licence

The licence needed to operate a motor boat depends on two criteria — the engine power and the area where you will be boating (whether sea or inland waters). If you want to cruise on a motor boat with an engine power of  less than 4kW , then you don't need a licence. This applies to houseboats or small boats, for example. You can sail a boat with a 4kW to 20kW  engine on inland waters with a VMP licence, but for the sea you'll need an international skipper's licence just as for a sailing boat and in some countries (such as Croatia), a radio licence . With engine power  above 20kW , for inland sailing and on the sea, you will need a certificate of engine experience for inland sailing in addition to the VMP.

YACHTING.COM TIP: Still hesitating about getting your skipper's licence? Take a look at our 5 reasons to take a skipper's course . Then check out our sailing courses and you'll soon be sailing the seas!

How to choose a motor boat?

Motor boats have a slightly different interior layout than sailboats. The smaller ones often have only one or two cabins and it is automatically assumed that the other couple sleeps in the saloon, often in the bow. Check before you make your final booking that you will have plenty of privacy. Small motor boats are designed for a couple or small family rather than several people who don't know each other.

Route planning

When choosing a boat, take note of how much the boat consumes. You may find that the fuel will cost you the same amount of money as the charter itself in a week's sailing. Plan your itinerary in advance so you know what to expect.

YACHTING.COM TIP: Want to enjoy your cruise to the fullest and without a care in the world? Try hiring a professional skipper or hostess for your yacht. They'll take care of running the boat, cleaning and cooking, leaving you to relax and spend time with your loved ones. Just ask our sales team.

Highly renowned motor boat brands in the charter industry

Here we have picked out the most popular types of motor boats from our search portal.

Probably the most infamous brand of motorboats is Merry Fisher. The Merry Fisher 795 models are among the best sellers and the Merry Fisher 895 is a common sight cruising the coastline of Croatia. Another sought-after model is the Antares 9 OB , which is generously equipped for a comfortable boating holiday, but if you're after something bigger, the Antares 11 Fly is a great choice. The Greenline 33 or its larger sibling, the Greenline 39 , are also fantastic options.

Antares boat

The popular Antares 9 OB model.

Other types of motor boats

Every motor boat is unique, and there can be a wide range of vessels categorized under the name "motor boat." Let's explore some intriguing and lesser-known motor boats that have distinctive features and stand out from the norm.

Small motorboat

Charter services also offer the option to rent small motor boats, which are perfect for day trips to secluded beaches, nearby islands, or bays that are inaccessible by foot. These boats are typically compact and may not have cabins, making them suitable for short excursions. They are particularly recommended for families who have rented an apartment by the sea and wish to explore the surrounding areas by water. In many cases, these small motor boats are equipped with relatively low-powered engines, and in several countries, you may not even require a skipper's license to operate them. We recommend, for example, the Zodiac Madline 2 or the slightly larger Four Winns H210 .

small boat

You can also rent a smaller boat.

Few people can buy a superyacht. And although many more people can rent one, it is still quite expensive. A superyacht or megayacht is considered to be a boat longer than 80 feet but you'll have to hire a professional skipper as only a handful of skippers have a licence for a boat of this length. For example, we offer the superyacht Azimut Grande 27 or MY Custom Line 52 m . These can cost up to 100,000 euros to hire for a week, but the price often includes a crew to look after the boat (including the professional skipper).

Superyacht Azimut Grande 27

Superyacht Azimut Grande 27

The main difference from the motor boats we rent at sea is that houseboats sail on freshwater streams and are designed for exploring rivers, canals, lakes, ponds, and dams. Although houseboats generally have less powerful engines, this feature often allows them to be rented without a license in most destinations. It's important to note that these houseboats are far from mundane, offering a unique and enjoyable holiday experience on calm waters. Check out these breathtaking destinations you can explore on a houseboat.

YACHTING.COM TIP: Never been on a houseboat?  Take a look at our our guide —   First time on a houseboat: 25 things you need to know!

Houseboat Nicols Estivale Sixto Prestige

This is what one of the most popular houseboats, the Nicols Estivale Sixto Prestige, looks like.

Power catamaran

Recently, motor catamarans or power catamarans have become more and more popular. They combine the advantages of a catamaran (two hulls, stability, space, nets to lie on,...) while offering the speed, carefree and comfort of a motor boat. Never driven a catamaran? Check out our article — First time on a catamaran: what you need to know

motor catamaran

Body of a two-hulled power catamaran.

YACHTING.COM TIP: Wondering what are all the types of boat you can charter? You will be surprised how many there are. Check out the article —  Boats for rent: what types of boats do charter companies offer?

How to operate a motor boat?

If you have sailing experience, driving a powerboat will seem like something very simple. You don't have to worry about ropes, sails, vignettes, masts or a flying jib. You simply start the boat and cruise wherever you want. Then it's the same as mooring with a sailboat.

One important aspect to be aware of when operating a motor boat is the  engine trim . Engine trim refers to the adjustment of the angle between the propeller and the bottom of the boat. Ideally, the propeller should be positioned vertically downward. As a motor boat gains speed, the bow of the boat may lift, causing the propeller to partially submerge. In such cases, it is the responsibility of the captain to intervene and adjust the engine trim to ensure that the propeller is aligned vertically and not at any angle other than 90 degrees to the water surface. This adjustment is crucial to prevent the boat from jumping or unnecessarily impacting the water with the bow. By maintaining the correct trim, the boat can navigate efficiently and provide a comfortable sailing experience for all on board.

YACHTING.COM TIP: Do you know how to operate the outboard motor on a dinghy? Read our article — Dinghy and outboard motor: what you need to know .

Where to sail with a motor boat?

We've selected 3 regions where you can enjoy a fantastic time with a motorboat and take advantage of its superior speed.

Vineyards and islands off Hvar

Start your journey from Split and make your way to the enchanting island of Solta or the sun-soaked Brac. For a glimpse of Croatia's renowned beaches, don't miss out on visiting Zlatni Rat. Proceed to the captivating island of Hvar, where we suggest exploring either the lively town of Hvar itself, the more serene town of Stari Grad, or the authentically charming Vrboska. Indulge in an overnight stay at a tranquil cove on the island of Ščedro, where you can delight in snorkeling alongside majestic clams. Depending on your available time and preferences, continue your voyage to the island of Vis and discover the picturesque village of Komiza, where you can experience the novelty of standing on a buoy or by the pier. During the day, take a trip to the island of Bisevo, home to the famed Blue Spila (blue cave).

Ionian Sea (and turtles!)

Rent a boat on the Greek island of Corfu. Upon taking over the boat on Saturday, take a leisurely stroll to the charming capital, Kerkyra, where you'll be enchanted by its delightful streets and atmosphere. Next, set sail south towards the island of Paxos, renowned for its breathtaking bays. During the day, make sure to indulge in a refreshing swim in Lefkada, a destination in the western part that boasts stunning beaches reminiscent of the Caribbean. Consider spending the night in the lively bay of Vasiliki, known for its vibrant nightlife and one of Greece's most famous kebab joints. The following day, continue your journey to Kefalonia and then proceed onwards to Zakynthos, famously known as the "island of turtles." If possible, sail as far south as you can towards Zakynthos, maximizing your exploration of this captivating destination.

Italian temperament

Experience the enchanting Bay of Naples, beginning in Baiae and venturing to Ischia, where you can navigate its waters at your leisure. Along the way, explore the quaint islet of Procida. Consider Ponza as an alternative to the bustling island of Capri. If time permits, visit the renowned Positano. Carry on to the breathtaking town of Amalfi, with its cliffside houses. Above all, indulge in la dolce vita.

Whether it's a motorboat or a sailboat, I'll find you the perfect choice. Give me a call.

Denisa Nguyenová

Denisa Nguyenová

Faq motor boats.

IMAGES

  1. You Motorboatin SOB You Old Sailor You Sticker Wedding

    motorboat you old sailor

  2. ELVGREN SAILOR GIRL in Motor Boat Pin-up Deco Bathroom Pinup 1940,s

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  3. YARN

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  4. 10 most iconic motor boats of all time

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  5. Sold

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  6. Muze MovieQuoter

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VIDEO

  1. Never too old to MOTORBOAT🫡 #motorboat #sailor

  2. Old Time Sailors Showreel

  3. Recalling the old sailing adventures!

  4. old sailing ship / #shorts

  5. A 65 yrs old boat

COMMENTS

  1. You old sailor, you!

    You motorboatin' sob.

  2. Wedding Crashers (5/6) Movie CLIP

    Wedding Crashers movie clips: http://j.mp/1LaLmh5BUY THE MOVIE: http://bit.ly/2celOHpDon't miss the HOTTEST NEW TRAILERS: http://bit.ly/1u2y6prCLIP DESCRIPTI...

  3. Jeremy Grey: You motor-boating son of a bitch, you old sailor you!

    Wedding Crashers. 2005. Director: David Dobkin. Stars: Owen Wilson, Vince Vaughn, Christopher Walken, Rachel Mcadams, Isla Fisher. Genre: Comedy, Romance. Rating: NR (Not Rated) Runtime: 128 minutes. Wedding Crashers is a 2005 film starring Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn about John Beckwith and Jeremy Grey, a pair of committed womanizers who ...

  4. Wedding Crashers

    You motor-boating son of a bitch, you old sailor you! I mean, I had an imaginary friend when I was a kid and his name was Shiloh. We used to play checkers with each other every day and bless his heart, Shiloh'd always let me win! This is the real world, lady! You can't just go shooting people on a whim! I felt like Jodie Foster in 'The Accused'

  5. Wedding Crashers

    Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson talking about motor boating

  6. Wedding Crashers Quotes

    You motor-boating son of a b*tch, you old sailor you! Jeremy Grey: I mean, I had an imaginary friend when I was a kid and his name was Shiloh. We used to play checkers with each other every day and bless his heart, Shiloh'd always let me win! Jeremy Grey: This is the real world, lady! You can't just go shooting people on a whim!

  7. View Quote ... Wedding Crashers ... Movie Quotes Database

    What'd you do with them? Motorboat? You play the motorboat? [makes motorboat noises] You motor-boating son of a bitch! You old sailor, you! Where is she? She still in the house? John: What is wrong with you? Jeremy: What do you mean "what's wrong with--?" What's wrong with you? John: No, what's wrong with you? Jeremy: No, what's wrong with you ...

  8. Jeremy: Why don't you try getting jacked off under the table in front

    What'd you do with them? Motorboat? You play the motorboat? [makes motorboat noises] You motor-boating son of a bitch, you old sailor, you! Where is she? She still in the house?John: What is wrong with you?Jeremy: What do you mean, what's wrong with--? What's wrong with you?John: No, what's wrong with you?Jeremy: No, what's wrong with you?

  9. YARN

    Wedding Crashers (2005) clip with quote You motorboating son of a bitch. You old sailor, you. Yarn is the best search for video clips by quote. Find the exact moment in a TV show, movie, or music video you want to share. Easily move forward or backward to get to the perfect clip.

  10. You motorboating son of a bitch. You old sailor, you.

    Wedding Crashers (2005) clip with quote You motorboating son of a bitch. You old sailor, you. Yarn is the best search for video clips by quote. Find the exact moment in a TV show, movie, or music video you want to share. Easily move forward or backward to get to the perfect clip.

  11. Wedding Crashers (2005)

    That's the way it is, but not me. Not right now. Because the person *I* love the most is standing right here and I'm not ready to lose you yet. Claire, I'm not standing here asking you to marry me, I'm just asking you not to marry *him* and maybe take a walk, take a chance.

  12. You Motorboating Son of a Bitch

    Try getting jacked off under the table in front of the family and have some real problems. Jackass. What were they like anyway? They look pretty good. Are they real? Are they built for speed or for comfort? What'd you do with them? Motorboat? You play the motorboat? Pbbbbt. You motorboating son of a bitch. You old sailor, you. Where is she?

  13. Wedding Crashers quotes ... Movie Quotes Database

    What were they like anyway? They looked pretty good, are they real? Are they built for speed or for comfort? What'd you do with them? Motorboat? You play the motorboat? [makes motorboat noises] You motor-boating son of a bitch! You old sailor, you! Where is she? She still in the house? John: What is wrong with you? Jeremy: What do you mean ...

  14. Wedding Crashers

    Watch this hilarious scene from the comedy film Wedding Crashers, where Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson discuss the art of motor boating. If you love their witty banter and want to see more, don't ...

  15. 5 Movie Quotes That Must Be Stopped

    You old sailor, you." Origins: If Wedding Crashers has any flaws, it's that the movie's only conflict is that Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson's characters get too much trim. If we wanted to worry about something completely implausible that will never affect us, we'd go watch An Inconvenient Truth .

  16. You old sailor you! #motorboating #sailinglife #compelling ...

    You old sailor you! #motorboating #sailinglife #compelling and #rich #hilariousvideos #weddingcrashers. RB Kidd · Motorboat

  17. Why motor sailing is good seamanship

    Again, this is made all the better as a learning experience with the engine on, reducing stress for all concerned. 2. Motor sailing for safety. Page 1 of 2 - Show Full List. Round the world yachtsman Pete Goss looks at the times when motor sailing can make life easier and allows for better sailing.

  18. The Art of Motorsailing

    Assuming the speeds shown, if we pinch and sail straight home it will take 4.3 hours; if we motorsail we can be home in 3.6 hours; and if we beat home fully powered up at a 40 degree wind angle, we'll sail 24.5 miles and take 3.5 hours, just a little faster.

  19. First time on a motor boat: what you should know

    Draft and bridges. A motorboat's draft is significantly shallower, thanks to the absence of a keel. Furthermore, the lack of a mast means there's no need to worry about the boat's height when it comes to passing under bridges. So from a depth and overhead clearance perspective, you're in safe waters with a motorboat.

  20. Did you motor boat them?

    You old sailor you!_____I do not own this material, it is here for entertainment purposes only. I do not make any...

  21. Is your spiritual life like a motorboat or a sailboat?

    Yes, allow the wind to represent the movements of God's Spirit, His Ruah, His breath. God is looking for some good sailors who know the subtleties of the movements of the wind and can adjust accordingly. Now since wind cannot be controlled and must simply be accepted for what it is, many prefer motorboats. How much nicer it is to feel ...

  22. You Motorboatin SOB, you ole' Sailor, you!

    Classic Scene

  23. How do you type the sound of motorboating? : r/AskReddit

    I suggest doing something I learned from a teacher a while back, she called it an "o-t-o" shuffle. Basically, hit the "o" key, the "t" key, and "o" once again. Then you've got to throw in an "r," because we just haven't had one of those yet. This step is kind of optional, but still recommended.